14 September 20224 Comments

Ich, Yogalehrerin mit Essstörung

Wir können nicht aus unserer Haut raus. Unsere Gesellschaft und Kultur ist von Fatphobia (panische Angst vor Übergewicht) geprägt. Schlankheit steht nicht nur in Verbindung mit Schönheit. Einer übergewichtigen Person sprechen wir sofort Qualitäten wie Selbstdisziplin, Zuverlässigkeit, sogar Intelligenz ab. Kein Wunder sind wir deswegen auch mit uns selbst so streng.

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6 July 2022No Comments

Neuland macht glücklich – vier Lebensweisheiten, an die der Umzug mich erinnert hat

Wir sind umgezogen und angekommen. Bis auf ein paar Lampen und Bilder hat alles seinen Platz gefunden. Manchmal kann ich kaum glauben, dass dieses Licht durchströmte, neue Zuhause für uns ist. Und doch fühlt es sich schon sehr wie Daheim an, jetzt wo es von unseren Sachen besiedelt ist. 

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16 February 2022No Comments

Wie ein Jahr Konsumverzicht an meiner Identität rüttelte

So oft konsumieren wir – egal was – um ein Gefühl von Unzulänglichkeit oder Unzugehörigkeit zu überdecken. Wir erleben einen kurzen Glücksmoment – auch bekannt als Dopamin-Kick – und das Problem scheint zumindest vorübergehend aus der Welt. 

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24 December 2021No Comments

I touch myself. Do you?

Especially for women, but for everybody really, it’s imperative that we check in with our bodies. By the way, with our minds as well. How is that going to happen if we don’t have a way of establishing contact? Whether we do it digitally, visually or by cultivating a regular physical or mindfulness practice, we must enter communication with our body - all parts of it. How else will we notice changes? How else can we become literate in the language of our body and intimate with ourselves?

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5 January 2021No Comments

How to create lasting good habits

New year, new beginnings. We commit to eating better, drinking less, working out more... But how do we keep it up for longer than a few weeks? There are a few key points to establishing healthy habits and replacing bad ones and making sure they last.

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7 December 2020No Comments

Five simple tools to prevent relapse during the pandemic

The pandemic is a catalyzer. Old demons resurface and are magnified. Here's how simple yoga tools can help with getting out of your head and stopping the downward spiral.

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19 September 2020No Comments

Yoga – a lifeline for recovering addicts during the coronavirus pandemic

The news of the pandemic was scary for everyone, and more so for people with a weakened nervous system. Addicts, whether recovering or not, felt the strain of the global uncertainty intensely. Using is a way of self-medicating when addicts can’t cope. It’s hard for them not to reach for their drug of choice when feeling out of control, frightened or threatened. For weeks, many of the life savers normally available to them, remained out of reach.

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11 January 2019No Comments

Setting sail

I noticed myself constantly reaching for something: coffee, sweets, social media, the odd glass of wine on a weeknight, and Netflix. While none of these self-soothing strategies sound particularly alarming, the frequency with which I was applying them was bothering me. I may not be addicted to caffeine or alcohol. But to some extent I was using these coping strategies to alleviate the pain of good bye.

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17 August 2018No Comments

What can I give to this? – emotional materialism and its antidote

I had signed up for a vacation

A two week vacation in Lisbon was supposed to be the harmonious conclusion of my maternity leave. But every day I ended up feeling frustrated and disappointed with myself. I might have underestimated the challenges of a city trip with two children. No, I definitely did underestimate the challenges of traveling with two children with a different set of priorities (three and a half year old boy and four-months-old baby). Most days I ended up being impatient and irritable with my older child.

A city trip of course involves a lot of dirt. Not that beaches or mountains are always clean, but cities tend to come with their extra-layer of muck. Switzerland is such a clean country that my son is not aware that he can't touch everything with his hands. I'm usually not the type of mother who obsessively disinfects her children's hands. But it also happened that baby girl caught conjunctivitis. So here I was, constantly fretting about dirt and bacteria.

But let's face it, the dirt was not the real problem. I was generally stressed out due to the new environment. I missed the stability of home, knowing how things work and where to buy what and – hello! - speaking the language. My son is at that age when it's hard to sit still. He wants to take in the world. How can I blame him for wanting to watch fire trucks go by and slowing down whoever is walking behind him? But I often do.

It bugged me that I wasn't able to react in a more calm and grounded way. I'm not a naturally patient person. But thanks to my yoga practice, I manage. The occasions when I lose it are not that common. Especially with my children. But on said vacation I ended up scolding my son every day. And so every night, I felt disappointed with myself.

Using relationships for gratification

On the flight home, I came across this passage in Ethan Nichtern's The Road Home (which I highly recommend, by the way): “(...), our habit of materialism has also affected our interaction with other people. Without paying attention, we have objectified so many of our human relationships. Unknowingly, we use others as merely the vessel of our own gratification.”

That stopped me in my tracks. For two weeks my son's behavior had been inconveniencing me. It was not what I had signed up for. I had expected a relaxing time with my family. But then I found myself in a situation that required me to be patient, understanding and calm. It required me to give when I wanted to receive. Still I was stubborn in my need to consume. I wanted my child to afford me some quiet time. I wanted him to sit still and not touch the dirty metro seat. I wanted him to shut up and eat his foreign tasting sausage.

What can I give to this?

“When it comes to relationships, try to ask, what can I give to this, instead of, what can I get out of this?” This is something a yoga teacher of mine once said. I often think of myself as someone who gladly puts her children first. But like anyone else, I seek gratification. It's not only what society ingrained in us, it's the way our mind works. It's geared to ensure survival. So it craves what it needs or wants and rejects what is troublesome.

This is where motherhood (and fatherhood) is such good therapy. There is no way that you can put your own needs before those of your children. Most of the time they come first. These are the years for sacrifice, which sounds bleak, but it's not. When it can no longer be about me, myself and I, it's quite simply not about you any more. Your problems recede into the distance, and magically, they are no longer a problem. If you can see it that way, it's liberating.

A friend of mine once said: “With one child, we could still control the chaos. With two, we can only embrace it.” Wanting to have your own wishes granted, is an attempt to regain control. It happens to me on the daily, when I pull all the stops to ensure an early bed time for the kids, so I can squeeze in half an hour of writing or a few yin poses I go to sleep myself. I race to have dinner ready, to put them in their pjs and get the bed time story over with. But when I decide to surrender to the fact that they will have their way (and I will not), I am so much more relaxed. Everybody ends up so much happier.

How much easier would our life be if we put up less resistance to what is? If we could shift our perspective from thinking about what we can get to what we can give, we would be okay with not getting what we want. How gratifying would our relationships be if we could just surrender to what they are instead of trying to get something out of them?

10 June 2018No Comments

The baby mirror – how they pick up on your vibe

Have you ever wondered why we intuitively sing to our babies? And why it seems to calm them down? In order to produce a melody, we have to steady our breath. You can't sing if you're winded. Calming our breath automatically soothes our nervous system. When we are calm, our babies mirror that state. I know, this sounds like one of those touchy-feely statements. If you're the scientific type and don't believe in subtle energies, you're probably rolling your eyes right now. But this is not just the hormonal mom in me talking. Maybe babies are proof that subtle energy is real.

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© Copyrights 2022-2023 | Elisa Malinverni | All rights reserved | AGB | Kontakt & Newsletter

© Copyrights 2022-2023 | Elisa Malinverni |
All rights reserved | AGB| Kontakt & Newsletter

© Copyrights 2022-2023 | Elisa Malinverni | All rights reserved | AGB | Kontakt & Newsletter

© Copyrights 2022-2023 | Elisa Malinverni
All rights reserved | AGB | Kontakt & Newsletter